When was the last time that you truly connected with someone?







Here is some advice out of the readings I had been doing from different books:

  1. Give people your full attention. Your presence can be a healing agent for someone. Be fully present.
  2. Have an open body language. What is your body communicating to others? Does your body match yourwords?
  3. Be genuinely interested. I think being genuine and honest in everything you do is key.  We complain about “fake” people, don’t be one of them. Be congruent.
  4. We love connecting with people who are most like us. With other people whom you are trying to connect, seek common ground.
  5. Ask deep questions. You can talk about the weather if you like, but deep down, everyone is wanting to connect. See #3.
  6. Completely listen with your heart and mind. Sometimes it is difficult to listen intently because there is too much noise, mental noise and otherwise. I must admit that I am a guy and that “y-chromosome” to want to fix things get in the way. However, this is something that I’m getting better at the more I practice.
  7. Don’t be afraid to initiate contact and conversation. What do you have to lose? Think about the last time someone reached out to you and you thanked them for it. You can also do it for others. Reach out.
  8. Be an open book. I was reading that generosity is emotional generosity towards others.  Don’t confuse emotional generosity with being co-dependent, but rather to be open to others and to experiences. This is critical to be in authentic relationships.
  9. Suspend judgment. Put your perspectives on hold. If you want to show others that you care about them, don’t jump to conclusions. Feel and Be with them.
  10. Be mindful of others. What do others like/dislike? What do they need/want? Whats priority/not priority? Sometimes its easy to forget those things, especially those things that we don’t really care about or like, but by being interested in what others are interested, is demonstrating your gift of love towards them.
  11. Exude love, warmth & empathy. You may wonder how?
  12. Being close to the source of love, God.  Love emanates from God for God is love. Our best effort is to be Christ-Like. See all points above.

Don’t change

dont change


No cambies para que la gente te quiera. Sé tú mismo y la gente adecuada te querrá como eres.

Staying true to yourself

I am not watching the news anymore. I have heard this expression over and over again. The reason? Too much negativity out there: wars, unemployment in mass scale, drugs & violence going rampant in the world, people mistreating animals, children, women & elderly, and countless more negativity going on.

All of this negativity can make it challenging for us to remain positive towards life. In fact, when people approach us, we respond somewhat negative wondering what are peoples’ true motivations. We can become quite cynical about life and only choosing to open ourselves to specific individuals.

Furthermore, you can walk into a mall, a store a café place, open your Internet and pretend nobody is around you. If you see something that is funny or interesting you try to play it nice and nonchalant you M(r)(s). cool you.

I am going so far as to say, some of you may be asking back: what’s the purpose of being nice just for being nice? It’s not going to pay my bills, it’s not going to land me a better job, and it’s not going to give me a nice award. I am going to let you answer yourself that one question. However, I want to take you on a journey so pack your bags and come with me.

Most of us are in search of genuine and trusting relationships. When was the last time you made a new friend? People are so concerned about their fragile egos that they can’t simply open up either for fear of embarrassment or just because they are too good for other people.

Burning question: Aren’t you tired of superficial relationships where all you talk is about the whether and “safe” topics with people? Do you want to communicate with other people in more honest and intimate levels with people that could be total strangers?

We are simply too busy fostering materialism in our life, wanting to have the latest fashion, toys and other commodities and we are forgetting communicating with people at a level that is beneath the surface. Beneath talking about sports and weather. You might say: You don’t understand, I am naturally shy or simply I am NOT interested in people anymore. I am so disappointed at the human race right now and sometimes I want to take a space jet and move to Mars.

Before you start packing your bags there is another solution, you can begin to form good relationships with people. Who knows? You might find your new best friend in a complete stranger! With a few exceptions, most everybody is like you and me.

In my humble opinion, I have found people who are shy, very interesting. I am not going to give you a list of 5 things you can do to build rapport, win friends and influence people. Just be your wonderful self. Don’t be interesting, just be interested, materialism is not going to improve your quality of life, but people will.

Unless you work for a secret government facility, a good secret to succeed at work is improving your communication skills. You can treat people like they were your friends and not some strangers from a faraway land. It is funny to me that a stranger to you might be someone else’s best friend. Staying true to yourself can be challenging at times, but at the end of the day, its all going to be worth it.

Mind Hacking

You are a successful {insert your profession/social status here}. As such, people admire you for your good grades; business ventures, heroic last-minute victories and they can see the result of your creativity plastered in music, art or life. You feel motivated, on top of the world and invincible. “Life happens” you know what that means, the work of your hands fail, you put your reputation on the line and now your name is not worth much, at least to those who despise you and chose to believe the lies about you.

You keep re-living the embarrassing moment, over and over again and yet you keep coming with the same question. What are some places where I can attach conditions of self-worth?  Where is my self-worth in light of my flaws, my shortcomings, and perhaps mistakes of others that ended up costing my precious name, realizations and victories?

Sometimes we can become discouraged, and perhaps function ineffectively in life because of our mistaken beliefs, our faulty values and our goals that we never achieved. Stop for a minute and think self-love equals self-worth. Love yourself! You are totally worth it.

As a computer guy a term comes to memory “hacking”. Your mind is the control center where you process the events that happen in real life, your feelings and your interpretations of the event. By the way, here is a secret. Do you happen to know why women (in general) remember more than men? It is because it is scientifically proven that when you attach a memory to an emotion, you can forever sear it in your memory.

So you need to hack the control center and remove the self-defeating programming. This program runs in the background with all the other programs and it keeps updating as the day goes by. When this program is successful you end up believing that nobody really cares about you. You end up being too critical of yourself expecting absolute perfection and therefore you reject people before they have a chance to reject you. Sound familiar?

Here is the worst part. If you don’t counter-attack this program your new behavior will shape your perception. Therefore you need to change your behavior. Engage in actions that will directly deal with your problem: for instance, do things that feel good like sports, go shopping, go dancing, snap out of it.

The most important thing is that you can set up goals that are clear, concrete and that makes sense in order to be successful. Talking about it may feel good, but doing something about it is even better. A hallmark of true success is when you reach your goals, whichever they are, as long as they lead you in a positive direction.

Now don’t be a noob and give me a comment will ya? 😉