Here is some advice out of the readings I had been doing from different books:
- Give people your full attention. Your presence can be a healing agent for someone. Be fully present.
- Have an open body language. What is your body communicating to others? Does your body match yourwords?
- Be genuinely interested. I think being genuine and honest in everything you do is key. We complain about “fake” people, don’t be one of them. Be congruent.
- We love connecting with people who are most like us. With other people whom you are trying to connect, seek common ground.
- Ask deep questions. You can talk about the weather if you like, but deep down, everyone is wanting to connect. See #3.
- Completely listen with your heart and mind. Sometimes it is difficult to listen intently because there is too much noise, mental noise and otherwise. I must admit that I am a guy and that “y-chromosome” to want to fix things get in the way. However, this is something that I’m getting better at the more I practice.
- Don’t be afraid to initiate contact and conversation. What do you have to lose? Think about the last time someone reached out to you and you thanked them for it. You can also do it for others. Reach out.
- Be an open book. I was reading that generosity is emotional generosity towards others. Don’t confuse emotional generosity with being co-dependent, but rather to be open to others and to experiences. This is critical to be in authentic relationships.
- Suspend judgment. Put your perspectives on hold. If you want to show others that you care about them, don’t jump to conclusions. Feel and Be with them.
- Be mindful of others. What do others like/dislike? What do they need/want? Whats priority/not priority? Sometimes its easy to forget those things, especially those things that we don’t really care about or like, but by being interested in what others are interested, is demonstrating your gift of love towards them.
- Exude love, warmth & empathy. You may wonder how?
- Being close to the source of love, God. Love emanates from God for God is love. Our best effort is to be Christ-Like. See all points above.